Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
