you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
