I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
