i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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