Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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