So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
