I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
