his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
