Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
