i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
