A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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