she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
