24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
