My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
