Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
