i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
