It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
