My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Drake has all the answers
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
