ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
