I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
