I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
