I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
