wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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