So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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