he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm always down for nudity.
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