I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she peed on how many people?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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