people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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