I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
