I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
