Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
