I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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