Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
