Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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