I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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