he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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