Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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