just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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