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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just want to hang out with her.

  (916): View more from California

  You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

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• (914): View more from New York

  I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras

  (1-805): View more from California

  hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.

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