dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
