Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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