Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone signed my nipple.
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