thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
