i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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