There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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