Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
