whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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