Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
