but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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