You're my little dorito
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
