Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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