Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
